.
biking to work this morning, i smelled a fresh mowed lawn. and i felt like 12 again, longing for summer holiday. i wanted to take my shoes off and walk bare-foot, and roll around in the grass. i'm trying to stop myself from the latter when people are watching. possibly i'll go watch the calves' first encounter with grass at the test farm where M works. not sure how i will feel about it. happiness is always lovely, but even though this may be one of the better farms in sweden it is still part of an industry i don't believe in.
the lilacs are flowering. that normally happens in the end of june, at the end of the school term. i love it.
i'm trying to move on with my life. it's about time now.
i was emailing with C about break-ups, and when looking at what i had just written, i realised that while she was talking about my recent break-up with D i was actually rather talking about my previous break-up. but i guess what we concluded is true for both of them; break-ups are never easy but sometimes the relationship is even worse. and i realised that even though looking after my very depressed friend some two weeks ago almost got me to seek psychological advice for myself, it did also help me in the long run. she's a lot better now, she's stronger than she knows. but when she lost her grip on life, i had to let go of other people to take on her pain. so now that she is better, i've already stepped back from these other people, one in particular. and thanks to that, my main concern can and has to be myself, getting my own life sorted out and working proper hours again.
last weekend i was flying. that was so amazing!
a lovely gift from lovely people, C went up too (do we ever do things without each other?) and she seemed to enjoy it too, although she's always more sensible than i am. it was a bit cloudy so we sent around inside the clouds, and then i got to take over the levers, it was surprisingly hard to keep the plane stable while making turns. then halfway through the instructor turned the engine off, it got soo quiet and we kept flying for another ten minutes or so. of course we dived and turned upside-down, my stomach didn't like that part but i love the thrill. yay! i totally recommend that if you get the chance to try it.
jeez gotta sleep now! up in five hours to go hiking. i think a lot better at night so i tend to stay up late, but this weekend is planned according to normal people's hours.
biking to work this morning, i smelled a fresh mowed lawn. and i felt like 12 again, longing for summer holiday. i wanted to take my shoes off and walk bare-foot, and roll around in the grass. i'm trying to stop myself from the latter when people are watching. possibly i'll go watch the calves' first encounter with grass at the test farm where M works. not sure how i will feel about it. happiness is always lovely, but even though this may be one of the better farms in sweden it is still part of an industry i don't believe in.
the lilacs are flowering. that normally happens in the end of june, at the end of the school term. i love it.
i'm trying to move on with my life. it's about time now.
i was emailing with C about break-ups, and when looking at what i had just written, i realised that while she was talking about my recent break-up with D i was actually rather talking about my previous break-up. but i guess what we concluded is true for both of them; break-ups are never easy but sometimes the relationship is even worse. and i realised that even though looking after my very depressed friend some two weeks ago almost got me to seek psychological advice for myself, it did also help me in the long run. she's a lot better now, she's stronger than she knows. but when she lost her grip on life, i had to let go of other people to take on her pain. so now that she is better, i've already stepped back from these other people, one in particular. and thanks to that, my main concern can and has to be myself, getting my own life sorted out and working proper hours again.
last weekend i was flying. that was so amazing!
a lovely gift from lovely people, C went up too (do we ever do things without each other?) and she seemed to enjoy it too, although she's always more sensible than i am. it was a bit cloudy so we sent around inside the clouds, and then i got to take over the levers, it was surprisingly hard to keep the plane stable while making turns. then halfway through the instructor turned the engine off, it got soo quiet and we kept flying for another ten minutes or so. of course we dived and turned upside-down, my stomach didn't like that part but i love the thrill. yay! i totally recommend that if you get the chance to try it.
jeez gotta sleep now! up in five hours to go hiking. i think a lot better at night so i tend to stay up late, but this weekend is planned according to normal people's hours.
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